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In the end, we'll ultimately be looking for a best friend, a companion to build a full life with, and maybe one day move away from all the craziness with. But stop and think — are you as uneasy about heterosexuals showing affection in public? Revert back to points 1 and 2. As gay men we grow up hiding parts of ourselves because gay still is considered different, and in a lot of places, bad. While enforcement is usually rare among individuals, anti-gay and sodomy laws are often used against gay, lesbian and bisexual people in custody disputes, legal actions and attempts to discriminate against individuals on the basis of sexual orientation. Once we break the norm, and find comfortability within our own sexuality, everything else is up for debate. Everyone is supposed to look like a model, have an Adonis body, be super successful, like everything we like, and fit the molds we've created that no one can ever actually live up to.

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What do you do when you find out your child is gay, lesbian or bisexual?

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It literally is scientifically driven due to the fact that we have testosterone pumping through our bodies. PFLAG members may be able to suggest a therapist that has helped their families. It helps to concentrate on real concerns: We go through a second adolescence. Getting married wasn't an option for our community until very recently, so commitment from a legal standpoint was actually far from a lot of our minds.

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Supporting your child now should be a natural extension of your general support as a parent: PFLAG can refer you to other parents and families in similar situations, and resources specific to your needs. That means that there are plenty of people out there you can talk to. They look back to before they knew and recall this time as problem-free — overlooking the distance they often felt from their child during that time. Does support or love for your child rely on your ability to point to a cause? And it shows an equally tremendous amount of love, trust and commitment to their relationship with you.

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